Ed Over Heels
by Dustbunny3
Summary: [One-shot][EdEdd, background EdEddEddy, minor EddNazz] Edd's new workout regimen gets him into an awkward position.


A/N: Man, I just forgot to cross-post everything... So, I was originally going to do something that was purely EdEdd, but as much as I enjoy their leg of the Eds' friendship, I can't settle my thoughts around them as a couple on their own. Much as I don't need to think something will last to ship it, it just felt more natural to me to present them as one part of a whole. Plus, y'know, I love me some poly Eds. Anyway, here's some silliness!

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Eddward had known when Nazz had suggested becoming his personal trainer that it was a bad idea, yet he'd still let her talk him into a one-month trial of a beginner's regime. She had been decked out in her own workout clothes at the time, hardly more outerwear than underwear, sheen of sweat making her seem to glow under the light of the midday sun. Eddward had, in retrospect, only his own hormones to blame for the situation he found himself in now.

That situation being: He was set to drown in his own sweat in Ed's bedroom, Nazz not even present– she'd had a family obligation to attend to over the weekend and charged him with carrying on in her absence. He had given her his word that he would maintain the schedule she'd set up for him– and he couldn't trust that Ed and Eddy, who she'd asked to supervise him, wouldn't rat him out if he skived. His cheek was pressed to his sweat-covered exercise mat, posterior high in the air and the limp noodles that had once been his arms sprawled on the floor between his legs, which were still dutifully shoulder-width apart. The smell of his own overtaxed body, unaccustomed and ill-suited to athletic pursuits, was offensive enough in its own right and now magnified the more familiar stench of Ed's personal domain.

As if that wasn't bad enough, Eddward was becoming increasingly convinced that his mat had been set down on top of a sandwich. A very old sandwich. The thought would ordinarily have plastered him to the ceiling– easily the cleanest part of the room– but he found himself quite unable to move just then. Even the thought of moving enough to let himself the rest of the way down was torturous. Oh, why couldn't he have at least gotten stuck in a comfortable position?

At least, he tried half-heartedly to comfort himself, only one of his friends– a simplified term for what they were becoming, perhaps, but still accurate– was paying witness to his humiliation. It was a sorry excuse for reassurance indeed considering how his humiliation was being witnessed. While Ed's attention had held only as far as laying out the mat for him before being arrested by his comic books, Eddy had parked himself in Ed's recliner with a bag of chips, ready to be entertained by Eddward's efforts. Whenever Eddward protested Eddy's undivided attention– and the unnecessary commentary that accompanied it– Eddy reminded him that he was sworn to look after Eddward's safety on Nazz's behalf.

So very concerned over Eddward's safety was he, that he was currently snickering into the collar of his t-shirt. Eddward could see him from the very edge of his peripheral and could hear him plenty well besides.

"Don't strain anything on account of my pride, Eddy, by all means, " Eddward managed through his labored breathing.

Eddy promptly burst out into full-belly laughter, the springs of the chair squawking protest as he rocked with the force. It was the loudest he'd laughed over Eddward's exercise misfortune since he'd let himself be coaxed under Nazz's wing, and that was saying something. Over in his own corner, eyes still glued to his comic, Ed began chuckling along.

"You know," Eddward raised his voice to be heard over the both of them, "I don't know that Nazz would be pleased to hear of the two of you– what is the term– gymtimidating me like this."

"I know she wouldn't be too happy with that poor form you've got going on there," Eddy shot right back, not at all phased. He popped another chip into his mouth. He'd denied it when confronted, but Eddward suspected that Eddy was holding this entire venture against him. "You'll pull one of those stringy muscles of yours like that, y'know."

Grinning, Ed looked up from his comic for the first time since opening it. His gaze caught on Eddward's and he froze, wide-eyed. Before Eddward had much time to wonder what was the matter, Ed had sprung up. He hopped about from foot to foot amidst a chorus of, "oh, oh, oh!"

"Ed," Eddward started, but Ed had already rushed into his attached bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him. With some difficulty and a new crick in his neck, Eddward shared a glance with Eddy, who had stopped laughing in favor of staring in bewilderment after Ed. Hardly had their eyes met that Ed was rushing back out of the bathroom and going pell mell for the stairs. Eddward tried again, "Ed!" and made a token effort toward moving.

The sound of footsteps pounding up the stairs was soon echoed by that of footsteps pounding down the stairs and Ed popped his head back into the room just long enough to insist, "Don't move a muscle, Double Dee!"

He hustled back up the stairs and out the door onto the main floor.

Eddward shared another look with Eddy, who shrugged and upended his chip bag to catch the crumbs. He suggested, "Maybe he took the pulled muscle comment seriously and went to get you some ice."

"I supposed that's–"

Eddward was cut off by the noise of Ed already returning, audibly tripping on several steps in his haste but never falling.

"About time you got back," Eddy snarked as Ed bound back into the room. "Did you bring me any more chips?"

"Check under the dresser, Eddy!"

"Ew!"

Before Eddward could get in a proper chuckle of his own at his friends' antics, Ed had rushed by and past his line of sight, stopping right in front Eddward's head. Mental alarm bells blared to life at once at this development and blared even louder when Ed stretched over him to grab his lax hands where they lay on the mat.

"Ed, what on Earth ar– _rrgh_!"

The room flipped and tumbled as Ed pulled Eddward by the hands as though he weighed nothing at all, dragging his face through a puddle of his own sweat and sending his legs flailing. When the world was put to rights once more, Eddward found himself with his legs hooked over Ed's hips, his hands caught in Ed's to hold him upright and steady. He was face to kissy-face with Ed.

Eddy laughed again, whooping and jumping on the abused chair. He cheered, "Attaboy, Ed!"

"Ed, please," Eddward implored, leaning away from the puckered lips, "I'm quite filthy enough as it– Ed." He paused and leaned just slightly in again. Tentative, he sniffed. "Ed, did you… brush your teeth…?"

As if the minty scent mingling with Ed's ever-present body odor wasn't clue enough, Ed gave a full-body shudder as he nodded. His face was very nearly grim as he explained, "I had to find the right stuff upstairs since I don't keep it down here."

"But– but then _whose toothbrush_ did you– you know what?" Eddward sighed, dredging up his first smile, however wan, since beginning his workout. "Never mind that just now."

He leaned in and placed a kiss upon Ed's re-puckered and winterfresh lips, Eddy's cheering ringing in his ears.


End file.
